HAHAHA Whoops....My Life

The title of this is probably Matt's favorite quote that I ever said and woah does it apply to last night.

So tap shoe friday turned into tanked kyle fri-night! The beginning was quite fun! Amanda, Emily, And I were just hanging out in their room drinking and singing some Miley Cyrus, HSM, Hairspray, and various other musical styles meant for the pre-pubescent crowd. haha

Then Elayna and Abbey came over and we walked (more like slid down all the ice) in the freezing cold to go to the bar.

Fast forward a few Rum & Cokes to me being a desperate gay. haha First there was this kid that I hooked up with back on Thanksgiving (yes, I hooked up on thanksgiving do not judge even though you probably should). Well he said he wanted to come up and hang out and never did. Strike one. Then there was this kid at the bar and drunk me was like fuck it and creepily got his number from my friend. haha whoops strike 2. Then I walked back through the frozen tundra of New Paltz and should've hopped right into bed, but NO that's too simple. So I get on facebook (a bad idea whilst sober) and message the "comment-deleter" WHOOPS Strike 3 I'm out. haha I can hear Christine now "you're a MofoHoHo!

Speaking of Christine, we are going out tonight! Although I might have to put like a bag over my head after last night!

At least my life is never boring haha

But first 8 hours of Joy at Rite Aid!

Song of today
"Money, Money, Money" - Mamma Mia!

that's all

Tap Shoe Friday

The first ever Tap Shoe Friday is a success. The lessons have begin and my legs are about to claim mutiny on my body. God Bless Kyleen for being able to handle my awkward ambling limbs. I am such a grandpa. But an excited grandpa nonetheless!!

Other successes of the day:
- Got a wine bottle open
- More face wash
- Dark Chocolate
- A bottle of Captain Morgan & Coke Zero in my fridge

Let's see if tap shoe fri-night is even better! it's got a lot to live up to.

ew. I was listening to "almost lover" and walked by Pig. If only my Mof was there with me.

Song of today
- "That's not my name" the ting tings

That's All

Playdough

So last night I had an amazing confessional session with my half namesake and soon to be tap partner Kyleen. I was finally able to admit things to her and she began to put life in beautiful perspective. She said one of the most profound things I have ever heard relating to relationships. Excuse my paraphrasing:

"your heart is like play-doh. you have to work it a little, but you can always stretch it just a little bit further. and it's always easier when it's warm.
but it's the people who don't care to learn how to handle it that pull to hard and break it."

I quote because it is a genius idea. And I cannot elaborate any more on it because I believe she said it all.

In other news. LOST is still probably one of the best shows on TV and I think I am going to have emily g help me make an audition tape for the Real World. I just love sitting with Emily and Amanda. It's really a release. It's like that really bad Jessica Simpson song "with you"....look it up. haha

I just took a pause to tell emily g that the new judge on American Idol wrote Miley Cyrus' "We Got The Party." I knew there was a deeper reason to why I loved that judge so much haha

Ok. I am really writing this to avoiding moving and someone but I probably should get a move on.

Say your prayers for my real world casting.

Tap Shoe Friday Tomorrow!!! and lunches with my MoFo just keep me alive (even though the food is probably killing me)

Today's songs:
- Beyonce's album, particularly Diva and Hello

That's all.

Between the lines

It's a snow day at New Paltz. Not that I have any classes on Wednesday.

Instead of being a productive, worthwhile student by doing work I figured it's time to start a new blog because I feel like these next few months are going to be quite the transition. With that transition will come a BUTT load of emotion.

Just as is expected, this first week back at New Paltz has delivered on the drama. First and foremost (and most embarrassing) there was this kid who for FOREVER (well at least since last semester) I thought was so hot. Fast forward to me having a conversation with Matt about him and he saying "just write 'hey what's up' on his wall." Well the 14 year-old giddy school girl in me thought this was a fantastic idea, only to return later after the posting to realize the "hot" kid deleted it. haha that would only happen to me. The giddy school girl just came back out before in Haz as he was walking right behind me. I just need to get into the real world with REAL relationships and none of this college "OH MY GOD writing on your wall asking what's up means I'm automatically in love with you." I guess I'm old fashioned in my thought that I want to get to know a person first. haha that was a really negative rant, but I still have faith in meeting the someONE. New Paltz just isn't the place for me apparently. Which is good that I realize this now because I leave in 3 months.

I don't like when someone who claims they're one of my close friends calls me a whore and then tells me they wanna bang the shit outta my ex. Anyone else see any irony in that? haha

I am very happy right now, but I am also terrified I have hit a ceiling of happiness. Meaning that I am happy and recovered as I can be from what Anthony did to me, but that I won't get any happier until I meet someone new, and at times I panic because I am scared I won't meet that someone. New Paltz does that. I just think too much in terms of my experience here.

New Paltz has some wonderful positives. Such as my Mofo. I love her so much. She has been there for me through everything and not once has blamed anything on me. I have never met anyone who can go from being the most hysterical person on earth to the most caring and honest person. It's a rare gift and I appreciate the fact she has it. If she had a penis I would have none of these problems. haha

I am excited for February 20th. Probably for the wrong reasons. But who knows.

I don't know what else I should get out. I guess I should probably tell you I stink because it's almost 3 and I haven't showered. hahaha so I should do that

but before I've also realized I have met some genuine gay guys and in my own selfishness I've completely lost even their friendship. I was talking to this kid Garrett last night that I hooked up with for the wrong reasons on my own end, but he was nothing but nice to me when I finally came clean. And then we just fell out of touch due to my own insecurities and I forgot how nice and genuine he is. That's the kind of friend I want. I want a gay friend with nothing sexual. Like we can share the bed and it'll mean nothing but company.

We don't usually get what we want though.

ok I NEED TO SHOWER. haha

I look too much between the lines of everything as is apparent from this blog. these are probably all things I am making up in my mind. But as sara barielles says "no right mind could wrong be this many times" haha'

favorite songs of the moment:
- Live recording of "Between the Lines" by Sara Barielles
- "Almost Lover" by A Fine Frenzy
- "My Life Would Suck Without You" Kelly Clarkson.

That's all