Get Out and Stay Out

I just went to my Facebook and Anthony came up in something so I clicked on it and saw "in a relationship." Whilst this is no surprise to me, for some reason it stung for like a nano second. However, just like being on the island it stopped hurting even faster (for you LOST nerdles, it is Wednesday after all). You have no idea how exciting of a thing this is to happen to me. I didn't even have to text MOFO and that is good for both of us.

This is a tell tale sign of okayness. As a result, I would like to try a friendship with Anthony now at this point because I see no reason not to be friends. I get jealous of people who are part of his life, but it's my fault because I have isolated myself out of it.

It's just scary to go about it because we both had our issues before and that could lead us both to being wary of being friends. He did hurtful things, and I went crazy on him. Maybe that might actually be better because we can cut our losses, say we're even and give it the old college try (considering I only have 3 months of college left ahhhhhh ahha)

The song that is the title of the post has been my inspiration. It is from 9 to 5, yes, by tig bittied Dolly Parton. It's just nice to finally realize that someone can go and settle on someone else and that it's okay to be alone. It's even more fulfilling that i realize and accept it by my own accord. As she says: "Got my own place. My own space to think and dream and plan. Took me this long to realize I do not need a man." It's inspiring and all about reclaiming your life. I am telling those thoughts to get out and stay out, I'm taking back my life. It sounds so harsh, but it isn't meant to be. If you want to hear the song here it is.



Gay, right?

Speaking of gay someone came into rite aid today, and I was nothing but helpful. Well he then proceeded to go up to the front and tell my co-workers that I was a prick and needed the shit beat out of me. When the interrogated as to what I did exactly, he said "he was just rude." They think it was because he was a giant homophobe in New Paltz. Oxymoron right? Actually just a moron. haha

But the sweet thing about that story is that my friends said "he is not the type to be rude." It was nice to know that's what they think about me.

In other news, Mitch and i are talking again. We're feeling the waters and it's strange but hopefully good. There was a rough point yesterday which got me kind of bummed, but yesterday was bad in general which is why I didn't write (probably a mistake because I sulked most of the night, albeit mostly in exhaustion haha). I just felt under attack by Mitch. And then Mike talked down to me in a cappella and it was not a "Kyle's Best" day.

The amazing thing about Mitch is that it's hard not to believe 2 people are meant to at least know each other with us. The confusing thing about all of this is that I was in love with both Mitch and Anthony (obviously at different times), but for some reason Mitch is my constant. I feel like he has just had such a huge impact on my life. I mean he was the reason I came out to my parents. In the words of Sara Barielles, "something always bring me back to you." She calls it gravity, which I think is an appropriate naming; an unexplainable force of nature. For some reason that has not existed with anyone else I dated other than Mitch. Like by all means I want to be friends with Anthony and would like to leave New Paltz on good terms with him. But I can't be sure of us being in contact as long as Mitch and I have been. It's all so confusing. On LOST they say you need a constant.

JESUS ENOUGH LOST ALREADY!!

In REALLY exciting news Amanda's mom won tickets to Mary Poppins on Broadway, so she is taking amanda, emily, and I tomorrow!! I am so stoked!!

It's things and people like them that make life worth living and being alone not lonely. I am just glad I finally woke myself up and can admit I've been foolish and take back MY life! Which means more time to focus on what I really want!

Now GET OUT AND STAY OUT I need some sleep because I have class in 6 and a half hours. WHOOPS.

Today's Song:
- Obviously "Get out and Stay Out" by Stephanie J Block

That's all